at Grandma Eleanor's house
in a narrow bed underneath a sloped ceiling cubby
I awoke beside myself
feeling something way too close to where I lay
immediacy broke beside me
and not even her vibrant hand-stitched and hemmed quilt
could tuck tight enough

like RCA Nipper dog
my head tilts, eyes blink, ears perk forward, pant
inexactly, what it is 
upper body in Hewlett but a foot caught on somewhere else
Oz Wizard heard giggling
folks keep saying such is nothing at all, nothing
(but everything at ONEce)

(s)he knows one's changed
signs abound, white doe and white hen turkey strolling
until give yourself UP
stupid stuff shrivels, rare friends emerge, big winged shadows down
soiled feet, dirty fingernails 
earthworms cascading through impenetrable clay, flower chorus
nowhere to hide, run

how did it happen
that (h)our surroundings became faceless, impersonal, monochrome
animism silly, magic tricks
spectacular multidimensions sanitized, firewalled, dissected 
in naming, mystery obliterated
there four God a faulty idea, a primitive crutch, wild-eyed symptom
burning bush hallucination voice 

except each Helper guards
points around the compass rose, medicine wheel
interaction follows heart knowing
what lives where, participates from its divine genesis
talks even with unconceited
each vision quest befriends refusal of anything less than full allegiance
odd hunger for unity